reminders

Triplets. Husband says stop kicking me. Wife goes ballistic. Husband escapes to make phone call to dad. Whispers the story. Dad laughs, tells him to apologize.
Hello baby - and he kisses her stomach - Oliver
Peace Lily
30 Million Trees 5-8
30 Million Trees from the tree's POV

• You'll never be successful
• You talk too much - women should be seen and not heard
• Your goal is ridiculous; just give up!

It's with the struggle you gain your sincerity
To beat into shape; to move ahead with difficulty ?
How to Use the Practice to win
Lessons from the Hydragena
Winter Roses (rosebush - cycle of life and death)

NMRK - Cinderella story (GH=FGMother)

Runner's mark

listening in

i feel like writing today. nothing special comes to mind, but still. i wrote yesterday and was really proud of it actually. eventually it will appear on another blog. maybe i'll post it here too. i'll wait though, out of respect for the original "publisher."

anyway, i'm excited b/c the writer in me is becoming more vocal. i have more ideas now and am (slowly) learning to honor the voice when it speaks to me. i prayed for 10 premises/ideas. i haven't been counting, but they've certainly been coming. i know vic is the basis for several ideas - including "the peace lily." i don't know if 'lily' will be a short story, a play, a missive, or what, but i do know it's a moving story.

i've considered applying for the young writer's group with the SGI. it's a pretty serious application - no need to apply unless you really do mean it. you get to write for the world tribune and the living buddhism. you have to write one article a month for each. awesome. and definitely doable.

as carlos would say, "now is the time."

now is also the time to update my website. i say content coming soon, but what does that mean? i have all my content posted on the server, but not linked on the site. i need to fix that....

maybe i'll do it today.

checking in

so far so good. on the memoir writing i mean. i haven't been writing everyday, but i've been working on it everyday if that makes sense.

had a major breakthrough yesterday. i was looking for letters and cards i've sent my mom over the years. only found a couple though i know a few more are hiding somewhere. but...i did find a letter from kendall. two actually. it broke my heart all over again. i think that might be a separate something. memoir, short story, something. he was a beautiful, intelligent black man, literally in the last weeks of his master's program and he shot himself in the head.

i was sick for days.

and though that was over 10 years ago, i cried like we loved and lost yesterday.

there's a lot shifting in my life, and i thank shiloh for that. (shiloh is an obscure reference to a particular person). :-). it's good though. and i feel more and more like a writer each day. that's great.

it really is the process over the product. i finally get that now. but i pray everyday to find the service in my process, so my product will be needed, received, embraced by those it should uplift.

so far so good.

word of advice

writing a memoir is serious business. you really have to be up for the challenge.

the ideas and memories are coming back, showing up unannounced and sometimes uninvited. it's all i can do to stop what i'm doing and jot it down. it's also all i can do not to cry. i suppose i just should. eventually, i suppose i will.

-er means "one who"

i think of random things all the time. i write constantly in my head. it rarely makes it to paper. later i am always sorry. hopefully i am starting to break that. i mean what's the purpose of a blog if you don't use it for random thoughts? or what's the purpose of being "one who writes" if you don't ever scribe the things you hear - in the world, in your head, everywhere?

so here's to being a better listener first, then getting it down once and for all.

effortless finesse

i saw his fine ass.

i know it was him.

his back was to me and he persisted in the opposite direction, but it was him. i know it.

trifling, fine ass, him.

walking, with his lumbering stride. cool, but not overdoing it. effortless finesse is what it is really. these young boys could learn a thing or two from his subtle sexiness. imposing but not forced. irritating really, because you can't help but notice him. recognize him from afar, even turned around and moving farther away. but it was him. and once again, i'm disgusted.

the moment of truth

so i'm excited. determined. and at once completely terrified. i have decided what i'm going to enter. unfortunately it isn't written yet, and it's a genre i've neither written nor read previously. the memoir. i was in barnes and noble today, getting a book on it. i won't tell you of the serendipity there. (i will tell you i'm addicted to books! i ended up spending $80 bucks!)

at any rate, i'm terrified b/c my subject is very close to home. i am starting to stir up quite a bit of emotions already and i have yet to write a word. just thinking is bringing up a lot. and now that i think about it, an anniversary lurks nearby. next friday is the 4th memorial of my mother's passing. the memoir is about her.

so like everything else in my life, it's timely. i'm debating on setting that as a deadline for myself. the postmark is due only a few days later. we'll see.

my first step in any writing project is to develop a title. it really sets the tone and gets me focused. i don't have a title yet, but a few ideas are jumping around.

my first idea - a moment of clarity. but then the moment of truth hit me just now. i dunno. i suppose when it's ready to appear, it will. i guess the point is to be ready.

momentum building

it's so interesting to be in rhythm. serendipity is a powerful force. i met someone sunday who has become my muse. now i'm suddenly determined to write. seriously this time. i have become aware of the service inherent in good writing, and i'm determined to be a servant. to listen, respond and be "one who writes."

here it is, two days later and i find myself running an errand at a barnes and noble. after completing my purchase, which was already behind the counter awaiting my arrival, i felt led to the cafe' - to my old stand-by, the tall caramel frappuccino with whipped cream. i got side-tracked on the way, by the magazines. i was drawn toward the literary magazines, a section i hadn't visited in months. perhaps not at all in 2007.

i immediately found a writer's magazine, though not the one i thought i'd spy. after searching for several seconds, i almost gave up on finding the tried and true writer's digest. finally, i spotted the familiar font, nestled behind two nonliterary magazines.

i perused it once i got home, only to see that i was "just in the nick of time." in other words, in rhythm. today is the first deadline for their annual writer's competition. but i have until june 1st (if i don't mind paying a little extra) if i want to enter.

i do. and i will.

it's a strong step in the right direction, no matter what happens.

wish me luck!

advice from cgoode

it probably doesn't really count as a blog if i don't write it myself, but i'd still like to post it as inspiration. cgoode recently published her first book and i asked her to share tips from her journey. among other things, she had this to say:

My favorite piece of advice is - just write!
Make an effort to put something on paper at least 5 days a week,
no matter what it is that you are writing.

For me, I actually started journaling and eventually,
it turned from journaling to me, to writing to others.

I think people assume you need 6-8 hours a day to write
and I don't think that's the case.
I think some days you can write for hours,
but some days you only need minutes.

Whatever it takes to get what's
on your heart and in your head
out and onto paper -
that's what you need to do.

Just write!

The story doesn't have to be
fully developed before you start to write it;
I don't think any story ever is.

I think you just commit to the endeavor
and keep going until one day,
you will have a finished product.

so simple, and sounds a lot like my morning pages. guess i need to stick with them after all...give myself permission to be a little messy for awhile. easier said than done.

alas, the journey of a 1000 miles begins with a single step.

at least i have started to walk.

not my ty.pe.

i have now seen one whole movie and most of one play recorded for DVD. in a word - unbelievable.

unbelievable as in i can't believe it. he's a millionaire, with no talent. he is my motivation to stop thinking and 'do the d*mn thing' as the quote unquote "cool" people say. the acting, directing and writing of this particular play was horrid if present at all. the singing, or more accurately, sanging, was off the chain. thankfully.

but that's what it was about - the songs. every scene had no other purpose but to set up a song. there was no premise, no plot, no purpose really for the production other than to move you with song. may as well had been a concert with a little narration in between.

it was sad indeed, yet it was just the right pepper i needed to start kicking things up a notch or two.

slowly but surely

so i've done the morning pages - two whole mornings in a row. hurray! the sad part is, i have to be somewhere at 7 in the morning. something has to get cut. is it the daimoku, the yoga or the morning pages? really, two of the three will be cut tomorrow. i think the pages are on the chopping block.

however, the good news is, there may be an opportunity to make them up. i really do like doing them - i just don't like getting up early to do them. :-). but they work. ideas have started to trickle in already. they are small, more like a dripping faucet than anything else...but of course, if you let the faucet drip long enough the sink, tub, bathroom will overflow.

drip.

drip.

drip...

morning pages - to do or not to do

it's still here. the block i mean. it's interesting...i got busy, but more motivations (or inspirations) are starting to hit me. i need to go back to doing the morning pages. the morning pages are a crucial component of the artist's way by julia cameron. you're supposed to write 3 pages of stream of consciousness without editing yourself. it's a great tool, but i tend to shun it because of my extensive morning routine. i'll do them for awhile, and can tell they are beginning to loosen the block, but when time is of the essence, it's the first thing to get cut.

isn't that sad though? to know you have a tool that works, but to neglect it? the pages are supposed to be done first thing in the morning - a brain drain. i tell myself they will work no matter what time i do them. but if i don't do them before getting out of bed in the morning, it doesn't happen. i have yet to do them 21 days in a row, so they've never become a habit.

just another good idea, wasted.

but i'm typing it now as a strong reminder to my subconscious (and my conscious mind of course); i need to re-institute the morning pages. i even considered blogging my 3 pages. i have found i do 3 pages in 18-20 minutes. so if i type for exactly 20 minutes, wouldn't that get it? ms. cameron says you need to put hand to paper. parts of me agree. my best writing has come when a pencil (not a pen) was in my hand. but i don't know. at this point i just need to write. however it comes out.

maybe i'll start them again tomorrow...

on the premise

when i was an undergrad, i was a theater minor. i took a dramatic writing class with michael dinwiddie. two things happened that semester:

1) i wrote a spec script for living single. it was out and hot during that time and i decided to try my hand at a new medium. it was an awesome experience - at times i could hear the characters speaking and i would write as quickly as i could to be true to their conversation. i realized i really liked writing, and once characters were developed, i could truly hear them. it was fascinating

2) i was introduced to the art of dramatic writing by lajos egri. even though i let my day to day living get in the way of writing, i know the principles within this book will be the key to my becoming a master storyteller.

number two is my focus this morning.

every time i feel the stir, i pull that book off the shelf. last night was no different. i never get very far (and that's just b/c once again i let life overshadow writing). but i am always so amped after reading a few lines. the basic building block, he says, of any dramatic work, should be the premise.

"every sensible invention must have a purpose, every planned sprint a destination." this is the premise.

he says, "no idea, and no situation, was ever strong enough to carry you through to its logical conclusion without a clear-cut premise."

i like this book b/c he takes classic plays and analyzes them in light of his theories. premises from well-known plays include:

• ruthless ambition leads to its own destruction
• the sins of the father are visited on the children
• jealousy destroys itself and the object of its love
• shiftlessness leads to ruin
• faith conquers pride

he goes on about it for awhile, describing how to write them, and if some plays really fulfill them, but this isn't a book review. it's just an explanation of where i am and how i got here. for now i am at the premise stage - i am developing the premise for my piece. i say piece b/c i have yet to decide if i'm writing a play, a screenplay, a novel, a short story, etc. but i suppose i am stuck, with no subject or idea b/c i have no premise driving me. i have attempted to write a premise in the past, but i never had any conviction in it. once again we have a window into my block.

this time is different though. i will write one i believe in and can follow through to its conclusion.

i shall find my premise and i shall be on my way!

EQ #1 - the master storyteller

so r and i spoke at length last night. i asked him the first essential question of writing that popped into my head. lately i've seen references to "master storytellers." i just finished reading bebe moore campbell's final book 72 Hour Hold and she was heralded as "a writer at the top of her form as a storyteller...". i think the book is beautifully written, and tells an interesting story. but i'm not sure it was "masterful storytelling." i was intrigued. i wondered. i pondered.

i asked: "what makes one a master storyteller?" in the dialogue that followed we spoke of great contemporary literature, plays and movies. we dicussed the differences between great writers (toni morrison) and great storytellers (pearl cleage, james patterson); the difference between a great story (dan haskins leads texas western to a national championship with the first all black starting line up) and how it can fall short in the telling (glory road); the role of subplot in strengthening (or dampening) the plot.

it was an interesting conversation i think. i came away with a few things to chew on. mainly the importance of character and character motivation. the truly great storytellers have characters we miss or think about once the story has ended. we know them. we love them, including all their faults and thorns. we are inside of them. we are them. it's their lives we're reading about or experiencing and we've been invited inside. the great writers wordsmith, but the storytellers make us care. it's interesting. yes, you can be a master storyteller who is also a great writer. or you could be one or the other. you could also simply be fair at either. or sadly, you could be poor at both (and still be successful, and that sucks!). authors in this last category shall remain nameless. for now.

what makes one a master storyteller?

the blocked writer unblocks

greetings,

i am lady buddha. i am, among other things, a blocked writer. i have decided to create this blog in partial treatment of this block. i am struggling to find my voice - or more accurately, my subject/s. i have recently begun to ask myself a series of questions toward understanding the way of the writer. well... not really the way of the writer, but of the successful writer. and even more than just successful, but that writer who truly commands a captive audience. who enlightens, inspires, or entertains us. the writer who grabs us, holds us, and doesn't let go until s/he has delivered the message and left us to reflect.

i want to be that writer, but so often i feel i have nothing to say. i think i could say "it" well, but what is it?

so through blogging, i'm hoping to begin to find "it."

i don't know how often i will post, nor if my posts will be visible to everyone. we'll see. this is my journey to discover the writer within...