word of advice

writing a memoir is serious business. you really have to be up for the challenge.

the ideas and memories are coming back, showing up unannounced and sometimes uninvited. it's all i can do to stop what i'm doing and jot it down. it's also all i can do not to cry. i suppose i just should. eventually, i suppose i will.

-er means "one who"

i think of random things all the time. i write constantly in my head. it rarely makes it to paper. later i am always sorry. hopefully i am starting to break that. i mean what's the purpose of a blog if you don't use it for random thoughts? or what's the purpose of being "one who writes" if you don't ever scribe the things you hear - in the world, in your head, everywhere?

so here's to being a better listener first, then getting it down once and for all.

effortless finesse

i saw his fine ass.

i know it was him.

his back was to me and he persisted in the opposite direction, but it was him. i know it.

trifling, fine ass, him.

walking, with his lumbering stride. cool, but not overdoing it. effortless finesse is what it is really. these young boys could learn a thing or two from his subtle sexiness. imposing but not forced. irritating really, because you can't help but notice him. recognize him from afar, even turned around and moving farther away. but it was him. and once again, i'm disgusted.

the moment of truth

so i'm excited. determined. and at once completely terrified. i have decided what i'm going to enter. unfortunately it isn't written yet, and it's a genre i've neither written nor read previously. the memoir. i was in barnes and noble today, getting a book on it. i won't tell you of the serendipity there. (i will tell you i'm addicted to books! i ended up spending $80 bucks!)

at any rate, i'm terrified b/c my subject is very close to home. i am starting to stir up quite a bit of emotions already and i have yet to write a word. just thinking is bringing up a lot. and now that i think about it, an anniversary lurks nearby. next friday is the 4th memorial of my mother's passing. the memoir is about her.

so like everything else in my life, it's timely. i'm debating on setting that as a deadline for myself. the postmark is due only a few days later. we'll see.

my first step in any writing project is to develop a title. it really sets the tone and gets me focused. i don't have a title yet, but a few ideas are jumping around.

my first idea - a moment of clarity. but then the moment of truth hit me just now. i dunno. i suppose when it's ready to appear, it will. i guess the point is to be ready.

momentum building

it's so interesting to be in rhythm. serendipity is a powerful force. i met someone sunday who has become my muse. now i'm suddenly determined to write. seriously this time. i have become aware of the service inherent in good writing, and i'm determined to be a servant. to listen, respond and be "one who writes."

here it is, two days later and i find myself running an errand at a barnes and noble. after completing my purchase, which was already behind the counter awaiting my arrival, i felt led to the cafe' - to my old stand-by, the tall caramel frappuccino with whipped cream. i got side-tracked on the way, by the magazines. i was drawn toward the literary magazines, a section i hadn't visited in months. perhaps not at all in 2007.

i immediately found a writer's magazine, though not the one i thought i'd spy. after searching for several seconds, i almost gave up on finding the tried and true writer's digest. finally, i spotted the familiar font, nestled behind two nonliterary magazines.

i perused it once i got home, only to see that i was "just in the nick of time." in other words, in rhythm. today is the first deadline for their annual writer's competition. but i have until june 1st (if i don't mind paying a little extra) if i want to enter.

i do. and i will.

it's a strong step in the right direction, no matter what happens.

wish me luck!